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Family and Relationships

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Jessica Bunevacz  
The Biggest Mistakes Couples Make After Years of Marriage
Guestpert: Jessica Bunevacz
Category: Family and Relationships

Speaking Point: Marriage. Marriage is a lot of work. It’s constant giving and taking, lots of patience, keeping the intimacy alive, making your own rules to maintain a loving marriage. There are a lot more but the most important thing is not giving any room for complacency. This is when couples stop learning about each other. You need to keep the mystery in you to make your spouse interested and keep on digging about what he needs to learn more about you.

Speaking Point: What years do most couples start to let their marriage slide? It is usually between 5 to 7 years. Because the first year or two is still the honeymoon stage, the third or so you start a family. Once you have kids that is when women starts letting go of themselves. This is the time where they focus more on their child, they prioritize their child more than their husbands. And this is when husbands feels neglected from their needs which is usually attention and sex.

Speaking Point: Why is it important to prioritize your marriage after being married for several years? For me, my marriage and my husband is my priority over anything because if you have a good marriage your kids will see and feel it. If you prioritize your kids over your spouse your marriage may fall apart. This is when you’ll forget your commitment as a wife or husband. Trust me the kids are the happiest when they see their parents happy. To give you an example, When my husband and I have date nights, my kids are excited and happy. I see my kids faces excited specially my youngest. Sometimes when we go out of town as a family, they would often give my husband and I an evening to ourselves just to relax and order room service.

Speaking Point: Three things big mistakes couples make after years of marriage. Stop communicating. Communication is big for me. I believe in constant communication on how you feel about each other or towards each other. If you are not a big talker there is always text messaging or email or writing your spouse a letter. Women love to communicate. Men need to understand that. How can a man understand what you want if you don't communicate it with them. You cannot expect the man to do what you want or need if you don’t tell him. Your marriage is in big trouble if you stop talking to each other. Because it can build resentment toward each other. This develops hatred, anger and disappointments which can lead you to leaving your spouse or having an affair.

Speaking Point: Losing respect and taking your spouse for granted. Once you get complacent you tend to take your spouse for granted. You forget to appreciate him/her. You stop saying he looks handsome or hot or she looks stunning or gorgeous. You forget to give them accolades that they need to hear from you and not from other people. And the worst is you forget to thank them or praise them on a good job that they have done. You stop respecting your spouse when you start cursing at each other or belittling and embarrassing your spouse in front of other people. Once you start doing this you need to sit down and discuss the whole situation and stop doing this. This is not good for any relationship. You cannot love someone you don’t respect.

Speaking Point: They stop touching and looking at each other. Sex is important in marriage but if you stop touching and looking at each other then this can affect your sex. Touching each other is very important to keep your intimacy for each other. We women especially; we want to be touched, be hugged, be loved. Sometimes men forget to do this, they just want to have sex and we women feel used if a men takes us straight to sex, especially when we feel ugly and bloated or when we are exhausted from a whole day of activity with the kids. The last thing we need is sex. But when a man starts staring at us and starts touching us, it makes women feel loved and it makes us feel beautiful. We need to be touched or even to hold hands while sleeping. Looking at each other’s eyes gives you affirmation of your love

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