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Damona Hoffman  
Sex with Your Ex
Guestpert: Damona Hoffman
Category: Sex and Romance
 

Speaking Point: Usually once you are attracted to someone as much as you might have grown to hate them there is always some level of attraction that remains. Does that mean that it's a good idea to sleep together again? Even if you both agree that there are no feelings involved. Absolutely not!!!

Speaking Point: This phenomenon happens so frequently because people prefer the comfortable and familiar over the uncomfortable feeling of being alone or the awkwardness of being intimate with someone new.

Speaking Point: Being involved with your ex keeps you from being physically or emotionally able to connect with someone new.

Speaking Point: When you break up with someone it's imperative that you give yourself the time to heal from the breakup. Even if you think you're not emotionally attached, biologically it's very difficult (particularly for women) to completely separate feelings of intimacy from the act of sex.

Speaking Point: Usually I recommend that my clients avoid contact with an ex so that they have time to heal and process what happened in the relationship - at least a month for every six months that they were together. With time you can gain the perspective on what went wrong and improve things for your next relationship. Going back and having sex with your ex a few weeks later usually leads to the beginning of those painful off again/on again months. Usually they result in a breakup again after this period of awkwardness. It's like picking at a scab. You're better off leaving it alone to heal.

Speaking Point: I have been able to form friendships with most of my own Exes but only after having sufficient time to heal from the relationship.

Speaking Point: Although many women claim that they can have casual sex like a man, we are biologically predisposed to have more feelings about a sexual encounter. After all, we're the ones left holding the baby if sex results in conception, right?

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Related Media: Science Daily Article

Related Media: MSNBC Article

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