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Speaking Point: Many are speaking out that TJ is a quiet kid, not a lot of friends, but also not violent. His mother and father both have a long history of arrests for violent crimes, including multiple arrests between 1995 and 1997 of domestic violence between the two of them. TJ'S parents teach us to open our eyes to very important lessons...

Speaking Point: 1. Parents are responsible for the Family Culture their child grows up in. If a parent reacts in violence, creates a Family Culture of violence, a child grows up comfortably numb in violence.

Speaking Point: 2. The Family Culture does not just include the rules, roles and responsibilities, but also the emotional climate in which a child's identity resides.

Speaking Point: 3. Children need a SAFE Family Culture, where they can have a voice about their experiences and a place to share their feelings about their life.

Speaking Point: 4. Parents must "parent to the feelings" of their children, not just their thoughts, decisions and actions, so that their child can express what they are truly feeling and how they are interpreting the world around them.

Speaking Point: 5. In a safe Family Culture, parents can teach, guide, coach and love their child through their child’s interpretations of their own experiences.

Speaking Point: 6. If a child has nowhere safe to express their voice and share their feelings, they eventually will "GO UNDERGROUND" and portray one "picture" to their parents and the world, and experience a completely different truth within themselves.

Speaking Point: 7. With nowhere safe to go with their truth, a child will have to express these built up feelings somewhere, somehow, and at some point.

Speaking Point: If only TJ's parents could have learned the lessons their life teaches all of us.