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Is Peaceful Co-Existence Possible? Lessons from Damanhur
Nestled in Northern Italy about 30 miles from Turin is an eco-society based on ethical and spiritual values called Damanhur. Founded in 1975, Damanhur has approximately 1,000 citizen and over 500 hectares of territory throughout Valchiusella and the Alto Canavese area, at the foothills of the Piedmont Alps. I recently spent a few days in this unique spiritual community, and had the opportunity to learn about their culture of peace and equitable development. Damanhurians examine sustainable living through solidarity, volunteerism, respect for the environment, art, and social and political engagements. As I read about the community in preparation for my visit, I wondered: could this “laboratory for the future” live up to its name as a role model for the world? Here are the lessons I learned, and the answer to that question. Lesson #1: Believe in your dreams. Damanhur is celebrated for its eight underground temples—called the “eighth wonder of the world.” The temples were born from a dream. When Oberto Airaudi was in his early twenties, he had a vision for the temples. He kept his vision to himself until he could fully form it. Then he started telling select people. One night in his backyard, he and a few close friends started digging into the base of the mountain and carving out the temples. Their only tools were a hammer and chisel, shovel and pick, and a curved pick. Twenty years later they had eight temples—completely finished and adorned with vibrant and spiritually meaningful images. In the 1990s, the authorities learned of these underground structures and said they must be torn down because the group did not have the proper permits. But after visiting the temples, seeing the beauty of them, and feeling the intense spiritual energy contained in their walls, the authorities approved a change in the law to legalize the underground structures. Damanhur was based on the vision and dream of an individual. Fueled with the passion and persistence of a dedicated few, the extraordinary beauty of our dreams can win over larger communities that would otherwise tear them down. Lesson #2: We all need a purpose. I found that most of the people who moved to Damanhur initially went to the community because something in their life wasn’t working. They were lost or broken souls who were yearning for a sense of community and belonging, which they discovered at Damanhur. For years I’ve been teaching that all people need love, community, and passion in their lives. And at Damanhur, love abounds. A sense of community permeates the streets, the walls, the gardens. And everyone cultivates the passion of meaningful existence through their work in to help keep the community beautiful and self-sufficient. Many of its citizens love art and spirituality, so they work with master artisans to learn their beautiful crafts. It creates an incredible synergy that seems to work for everyone involved. Lesson #3: Give back to the world. If I had to sum up the Damanhurians in one word, it would be “self-responsibility.” The word “Damanhur” means “city of life,” and this tremendous respect for life in all of its forms is reflected in each person’s attention to serving his/her community. People in Damanhur give back to both their immediate community through community service and to the earth through eco-conscious existence. They’re on the forefront of eco-living and sustainability, diligently rehabilitating woodland areas previously exploited for firewood and implementing eco-building. In every aspect of living, their love, respect and attention to detail cultivate this sense of “self-responsibility.” Can you imagine would it be like if each person in the world was responsible like this? If everyone gave back to the community, even just an hour of time per week, our world would change dramatically. Every time you do something for others, you like yourself more and become more self-responsible. And most importantly, you cultivate a deeper understanding of your role in the wider community and a connection to the world around you. Lesson #4: We all must find our inner guru. During my stay in Damanhur I had the opportunity to interview the founder of the community, Oberto Airaudi, who now goes by name of Falco. The media has always portrayed Falco as a “guru,” but he says he’s more of a spiritual guide. Falco encourages everyone to find their inner guru and awaken their inner master. You do that, he says, through studying, experimentation, overcoming set values you had when you were a child, and being eternally curious. He aims to open people’s minds to new ideas and possibilities. His goal is for everyone to reach their full potential—spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Lesson #5: Instill values in the next generation. You’d think that growing up and living in a secluded community would make someone small-minded and somewhat rebellious in the teen years. In Damanhur, just the opposite is true. The Damanhurians instill great values in their children and expect them to live up to those values. And from what I saw, the children do. Each child I met was polite, mature, and well mannered—but still maintained the quintessential virtues of childhood. They played like normal kids, but had a stronger sense of responsibility than most children. The children are also taught to go out into the community and give back, and they’re encouraged as teens to study abroad and learn about other cultures. Keeping company with them was refreshing, as they were all so talented, artistic, well-read, and informed about the world. That’s what raising kids should be about. A New World Vision Whether you’re seeking direction for your life or want to get away to enhance your spiritual journey, you’ll definitely find the synergy and support you need in this inspiring place. It’s a community where everyone feels they’re doing something worthwhile and meaningful—a community of spiritually minded people that share the central values of sharing, solidarity, positive thought, and an active commitment to the re-awakening of humanity on this planet. What better vision for the world could anyone have?

My LA Lifestyle

11/16/2012 3:04:38 PM

Is Your Need for Attention Ruining Everyone Else's Life?
Identify someone in your life who is strong, unique, willful, and in charge, and you're probably thinking of a narcissist one of the eight "impostors" I've identified that manifest in people's lives. The narcissist is arguably the most noticeable in the impostor family because it doesn't just expect the spotlight this impostor demands it. Since I work as a celebrity life coach in Hollywood, I run into narcissists every day. In fact, there's no small number of narcissists among celebrities, as pointed out by University of Southern California's Drew Pinsky and S. Mark Young in a 2006 study on celebrity narcissism. They found that celebrities are notably more prone to admiring themselves than the average Dick and Jane women celebrities even more so. But that doesn't mean the "narcissist impostor" can't show up elsewhere. It can... and it does! The "Narcissist" in Action Here's what a typical "narcissist impostor" looks like: The narcissist often occurs when someone grew up in a household where other siblings received more attention, perhaps because the sibling was often sick or in trouble. "Narcissists" feel that the focus was always on someone else, so now it's their turn to have the spotlight. Often strong-willed and outspoken, they tend to disassociate from their own flaws and are intense people. Their singular goal is for perfection. As such, they are often hypercritical of others and believe that other people are beneath them in both ability and talent. They often possess an overbearing sense of entitlement and a lack of empathy. Interestingly, despite any rudeness or lack of understanding toward others, the narcissist has a compelling power to attract people. And while the narcissist typically has sex appeal, it doesn't singularly rely on that to gain attention. This "impostor" often puts both its appetite and sphere of influence on display for others to witness. They are masters at indulging in the cravings most people have but don't dare act on. On the outside, this "impostor" has certain qualities many people aspire to, because people often confuse the narcissist's self-inflation with confidence. The narcissist lives to prove it is better than others, elevating its stature and position within any career field as a means of reinforcing its own self-worth. One of the repercussions is the narcissist's inevitable dissatisfaction once a situation or a romantic partner has been "conquered" or lost their novelty. How to Deal With the "Narcissist Impostor" "Narcissists" are everywhere you can't miss them! If you find yourself entangled with one, here are some suggestions for protecting yourself: If you're in a relationship with a narcissist and they are being abusive, you will not win. Put on your gym shoes and run! Seek out friends, counseling, or a safe house if appropriate. Don't expect them to change they won't. If you know someone who is a chronic narcissist but on the path to excellence, have a conversation with them about how their actions make you feel. Sometimes that can be sufficient. If not, quit or separate from them. Just remember why you're making that decision and don't resent them if they go on to achieve greatness. There are people whose "wounded inner child" parades around as a narcissist. In these cases, you're also dealing with a fractured, sensitive person. There's no point in trying to put them down. Just politely listen and move on. Also, if you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, know that they prey on the "wounded inner child" impostor. They know they can't control a "healthy" person. They seek out the weak, needy and helpless. If you're a "wounded inner child" being manipulated by a narcissist, it's time for you to stand your own and take responsibility for your own life. Remember that no one can rescue you but you. Love Yourself... And Others There's no denying that the narcissist's preoccupation with attention and its overinflated sense of self is particularly pervasive in society today, especially among the country's youth. Thanks to reality television promoting mediocrity as success, we have an entire generation of children who aspire to fame with no specific career in mind. If you're tired of existing within a limited sphere inhabited by only one yourself rest assured that this "impostor" can learn to make room for others. By recognizing the narcissist and keeping the "impostor" in its place, you can share the spotlight and live a full life with the enjoyable company of others. EXERCISE: Selflessness Boot Camp If you struggle with the "narcissist impostor," try out this exercise. When my clients have stuck with it through the challenges and their own resistance, they've seen dramatic shifts in their lives. For a month, spend 2-3 hours each week volunteering or doing some kind of charity work. If you don't know which non-profit or charitable organizations are in your area, VolunteerMatch.org and Idealist.org are good places to start your search. Now here's the kicker don't tell anyone. Not a peep! Dedicate yourself to service, forsaking glory and the admiration of your peers. I encourage you to journal about the experience, which can help relieve some of the pressure of wanting to tell someone about it. What was your experience like volunteering? What did it feel like not telling people about your service? - About the "Impostors" The "impostors" are the cast of characters that star in Lisa Haisha's Soul Blazing. They could be a metaphor for the "masks" that you wear, especially when confronted with something that you fear. Sometimes they're the voice in your head telling you that you're not good enough or reiterating negative conversations or experiences from your past that keep you stuck, like quicksand that keeps you from picking yourself up. These pesky devils are the saboteurs and squatters that live in the temple of your Authentic Soul, and keep you from shining bright! There are eight Impostors in this cast, and they are: • The Wounded Inner Child • The Over Thinker • The Counselor • The Sex God(dess) • The Narcissist • The Philosopher • The Clown • The Fixer Find out which "impostor" is residing within you by taking this free quiz.

Huffington Post

11/16/2012 3:13:45 PM

Why Thinking Isn't Always Good
It's a good idea to think things through, especially for major decisions. But sometimes people over-think a situation, even when the decision is relatively small. Welcome to the world of the "overthinker," one of the eight "impostors" I've identified as a saboteur of people's behavior. As a life coach working in Hollywood, I've seen how the "overthinker" can cause someone to put their life on hold, miss opportunities, and end up not fulfilling their dreams and life's purpose. In fact, many live a life of perpetual regret where everything is a "should have, would have, could have" scenario that penny stock you had your eye on and refused to take a risk on that shoots up 100 points in the first week, the scholarship you were eligible for but never applied to, the beautiful acquaintance you never had the courage to ask out who finds love elsewhere. These regrets are completely avoidable... if you know how to take charge. The "Overthinker" in Action Here's what a typical "overthinker" looks like: The "overthinker" is someone who is scared of the future and who doesn't believe in him or herself. As a child, they were often told that they weren't good enough or smart enough. As an adult, they believe they are only worth what they contribute. The "overthinker" only speaks when it can be certain of showing others that it's smart or interesting. "Overthinkers" don't know how to make a decision. Therefore, their default action is to not make decisions, stalling progress in their life. Think of the "overthinker" as the overlooked middle child who always seemed duller in comparison to its dynamic siblings. Because they grew up questioning their self-worth, they are now plagued with indecision. But is overthinking really that bad? Doesn't it pay to prepare and consider your options instead of acting impetuously? The short answer is no. Overthinking is not about ruminating with reflection, which can be helpful in confronting issues and solving personal problems. Rather, overthinking is more like perpetual worrying, a mental process that hinders actually finding the resolve and motivation to act. This is why they are often mired in indecision, fear, and negativity. How to Deal With the "Overthinker Impostor" Interacting with the "overthinker impostor" (as well as living as an "overthinker") can be frustrating indeed. In order to keep your sanity and get things done, try these suggestions: If you know an "overthinker" who is a chronic procrastinator about getting things done, understand that your friend may fear failure... and success. Help them help themselves by putting the steps together. Brainstorm what skills they would need to develop to achieve success and help keep them accountable to their goals by finding classes and mentors. Mentorship is a great path; just find leaders in your field and ask to be their assistant or intern and learn about how they achieved success in return! There are sometimes "overthinkers" who procrastinate getting a life. They don't know what they're doing or where they're going. Sit down with them and ask what would make them happy. Help them write down their skills. Sometimes, it is helpful to find a coach or therapist that can guide them in their process. Are you dating an "overthinker"? If your partner is not willing or able to commit in your relationship, ask them what they are looking for in a relationship to see if you match their core values. If they can't commit, then you're just not matched. Don't let them waste your time it's time to move on. Also, play Beyonce's "Put a Ring On It" as your personal anthem. Stop Thinking and Start Doing If you're prone to excessive worrying and overthinking, rest assured that this "impostor" can be ousted. Remember that the "overthinker" is not you; it's merely a mask keeping you from discovering your authentic soul. By recognizing the "overthinker" and taking measures to prevent its influence, you can finally reassert your life's direction and begin living the life you've always wanted. Exercise: Sit On It One of my best friends has a great take on how to make difficult decisions. She's a yoga/meditation teacher, and whenever she isn't sure which decision is right she smiles and says, "I'll sit on it!" This means that she'll sit in meditation, asking her heart and the universe for guidance in making the decision. Rather than acting out impulsively or trying to make a decision amidst chaos, she becomes still and listens to her authentic soul. Although it sounds like a cheeky answer, it also makes her a trustworthy friend. Whenever she replies with this, everyone knows that she will give the question the proper time and respect. Whatever her decision is, people generally respect it more than others' snap judgments. So when you're facing a difficult decision, give yourself the time and space to listen for the answer. Find a comfortable space out in nature if you can, and sit in silence. With this clarity of mind, you can move forward with a decision that you can stick with.

Huffington Post

11/16/2012 3:21:43 PM

Is Gossip Killing Your Relationships?
It’s always fun to talk to approachable, great listeners who have the latest scoop on your mutual friends' lives, with even a small penchant for gossiping. But, when these friends go too far and begin gossiping incessantly, prying into friends’ lives, and constantly advising “here’s what you should do,” you may be dealing with a “Fixer”—one of the eight “Impostors” I’ve identified that keep people from living from their Authentic Soul. In my work as life coach, my clients often complain that people in their lives are always trying to “fix” them. While these “Fixers” may be well meaning, sometimes their reliance on fixing other people's problems to bolster their own self-worth and identity. Unlike its “Impostor” sibling, the “Counselor,” the “Fixer” doesn't try to solve problems with clinical methods and rationale; rather, the “Fixer” invests its time and energy in gossiping about others' issues, often undermining its own success and progress. The “Fixer” in Action Here’s what a typical “Fixer Impostor” looks like: · The “Fixer” is very similar to the “Counselor Impostor” in that the person wants to help others. But while the “Counselor” often takes a studied or professional route, the “Fixer” is more like a gossipy interloper. · “Fixers” like to surround themselves with people who need a lot of help, and feel wounded or slighted when these people don’t seek them out for advice. · Their sense of self-worth and identity stem from a desire to help others. But when they do “help,” they often enjoy poking holes in other people’s successes. · They seek attention and approval through seeming altruism, but their neurosis deters them from forming trusting ties with loved ones due to their tendency to broadcasting their good deeds. Gossip is the “Fixer's” way of maintaining its importance in a social circle. But many people don't realize that gossiping is a double-edged sword. Sure, it’s fun to listen to and join in with at times. But generally those in attendance view the gossiper in a negative light. For the “Fixers,” gossip is an indispensible tool. They use it to establish intimate connections and trust, build alliances, maintain influence, and even to save others from exploitation. However, because the Fixer’s true intentions are not to help but rather to reinforce their own self-image, they often take gossip to a whole new level. How to Deal with the “Fixer Impostor” “Fixers” are present in every family and every social circle. In fact, they often keep the circle together. Rather than succumbing to the temptation to gossip or become mad at them, try the following techniques: · If your pleasant, fun conversation at Starbucks takes an ugly turn for gossip circulating in your personal circles, don’t take the bait! Return the subject to something light and they’ll get the point. Maintain strong boundaries when discussing your inner circle. Engaging with “Fixers” frequently backfires because they go behind you and claim that you were the source of something they actually said. · Parents have a strong tendency towards the “Fixer Impostor.” Recognize that your parents’ concern stems from caring deeply about you, however irritating their methods may be. Satiate their “Fixer” by giving them small, acceptable ways to help you. If their attempts to “fix” you are getting out of hand, ask that they respect your journey. Sit them down, share how their attempts to “fix” you make you feel, reiterate that you love them, and then explain that for a healthy relationship you may need to establish stronger boundaries. Like the saying goes, “Good fences make good neighbors!” · During holiday dinners, everyone’s “Fixer” comes out to play because it’s easy to connect when talking about family and everyone’s news. Remember to follow the Golden Rule and do not do unto others as you would not have them do unto you. Remove yourself from the situation—go get the croissant you’ve been eyeing on the counter and stay out of the dangerous gossiping cycle. You’ll be seeing everyone again, so stay out of the bickering and save yourself a lot of hassle. Stop Spreading the News A creature of gossip, the “Fixer” means well. But it’s often also serving its own interests, causing more harm than good. The best way to rid yourself of this mask is to pursue your own dreams and focus on your own problems rather than fixating on others’ issues. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t lend a helping hand or a needed ear to a friend’s concerns, but in lieu of investing all your energy and attention to fixing, direct some of that toward things that concern your life journey and that bring you real and lasting happiness. EXERCISE: Get Centered, Become Still Your Fixer compels you to get up in the mix, even when it may make the situation worse! One of the first steps to getting a handle on your impulses is to begin practicing some simple mindfulness exercises. One core mindfulness meditation is placing your attention on your breath. Find a comfortable place to sit, and try to clear your head of your thoughts by noticing your breath. Don’t change the way that you’re breathing, just notice the air coming in as you inhale, and out as you exhale. Notice the differences between each breath. As thoughts arise, gently notice them and then release them, like observing passing clouds in the sky. Each time your mind drifts, return to your breath. By beginning to watch your thoughts as an observer, and releasing them instead of allowing them pull you into impulsive action, you can practice simply being in a situation without trying to solve it.

My LA Lifestyle

11/16/2012 3:56:44 PM

Why Your Good Intentions May be Causing Harm
Everyone gives opinions and guidance to their friends and family, but you probably know someone who goes a bit overboard. This person gives unwanted advice in a very professional manner, even though they lack the proper credentials to do so. This person may mean well, but their efforts to help are stymied by their clinical and emotionless approach. That’s because they’re letting their “Counselor Impostor”—one of the eight “Impostors” that derail people’s lives—run the show. As a life coach, I know that counseling from trained professionals can be essential to healing and growth. But I’ve also seen well-meaning friends and family hinder someone’s process with misguided attempts to help. This“Impostor” takes on an instructional role in order to come to terms with its own pain indirectly. Unfortunately, this ends up causing the recipient of “help” more harm than good. The “Counselor” in Action Here’s what a typical “Counselor Impostor” looks like: · The “Counselor” results from an emotional pain someone has masked for a long time. · They pretend hurt doesn’t exist in their own lives. Instead, they try to study their own troubles objectively in order to help others deal with it. · They’re great at telling everyone else what to do, but they can’t seem to get their own lives together. · “Counselors” often approach love and life as a clinical experience and not as a real and emotionally driven journey. They tend to be emotionally distant and view matters of love and life as puzzles to be solved rather than as experiences of the heart. Some well-known “Counselors” are Oprah and Dr. Phil McGraw. Oprah built an empire based on her television talk show and became a force synonymous with therapy. What’s interesting is that Oprah had painful experiences and struggles as a child, and is comfortable discussing them with her audience on her show and other people’s shows. She realizes that holding secrets causes illness, which is what makes her powerful and relatable. Dr. Phil McGraw, a force in his own right, has similar intentions with his programs. He gives advice on a number of subjects, but rarely touches upon his own issues. He believes that his show was an important service and, in his own words, the best of its kind. Now for the past couple of years he has specialized in Domestic Abuse and is bringing that issue to the forefront and into our conversations. How to Deal with the “Counselor Impostor” At some point, you’ll likely encounter someone who attempts to resolve your issues, even though they have not resolved their own yet. Or you may even find yourself giving advice when your own house is not in order. Either way, here are some suggestions for dealing with the “Counselor Impostor.” · Is your friend trying to save you from making your own mistakes? Giving you logical advice you just don’t want to hear yet? Simply tell them that you’re not ready for their suggestions yet and that you’ll call them later. · If you are actually going to a trained therapist or counselor, stay open and allow them to help you dig through your layers. Sometimes, I’ve had some clients who have come in with their guard up and trying to prove me wrong, wasting their time and mine. When they finally opened up, they allow themselves to start having shifts in their lives, rather than staying stuck with old thinking and patterns. A good therapist/counselor will listen attentively and reflect back to you observations about yourself that you may not have realized. · Self-reflection is healthy and can help guide certain self-realizations. I’m an advocate for traveling alone and spending time in nature, however, trying to be your own counselor in a hard situation is a different story. Science shows that even particles behave differently when observed, so accept the futility of self-psychoanalysis. Allow yourself to be human and ask for help in times of radical shift in your life. Leave the Counseling to the Professionals The “Counselor” is no doubt an intelligent “Impostor.” However, its refusal to properly confront and embrace its pain perpetuates its issues. In a best-case scenario, those who seek out the help of the “Counselor” will find some comfort in its analytical, problem-solving approaches. Unfortunately, those who try and get close to this Impostor find themselves becoming an object of scrutiny rather than a friend or romantic partner. Only by shedding this mask can you begin to live authentically. EXERCISE: 30-Day Counseling Diet For those of you who are struggling with your inner “Counselor”, go 30 days keeping your mouth shut! Don’t give your opinions until they’re specifically asked for, and even then simply ask your friends questions so that they can arrive at their own answer. Here’s an example – Friend: Counselor, I just don’t know what to do. I’m not happy in my marriage and I don’t know why. I mean, should I tell my husband or get counseling? I don’t know what to do. Counselor: How long have you been feeling this way? You’re the only one who knows the right answer for you. Maybe go outside in nature and ask yourself the question you know you need the answer to. Put your hand on your heart and be open to discovering and hearing the answer. Just put your hand on your heart. Stay there until you have received that answer. If you have distracting thoughts, put the thought on a leaf and let it fall to the ground, and return to the question: “What’s best for my highest good?”

My LA Lifestyle

11/16/2012 4:00:00 PM

Funny and Smart Are Great, But How About Being Authentic for Once?
We all have an authentic soul, although often it's buried deep beneath a thick and strong layer of "impostor" personalities. These "impostors" are really a false belief system that colors your world, takes over your life, and causes havoc. Your impostors prevent you from achieving your highest personal and professional success, and they influence (usually negatively) how you act and what you say. When you let your impostors reign free, you're apt to make poor choices during times of stress and often face the same scenario repeatedly... because your impostors lead you there. In contrast, when you're letting your authentic soul shine, you have the love and energy to offer emotional nourishment to those you come in contact with. Your authentic soul is a peacemaker. It seeks nirvana, lives in the moment, and believes that something far bigger than itself exists. When you allow yourself to be guided by your authentic soul, you are creative, productive, joyful, forgiving, and present. Dr. Phil defines the authentic self (authentic soul) as "the you that can be found at your absolute core. It is the part of you not defined by your job, function, or role. It is the composite of all your skills, talents, and wisdom. It is all of the things that are uniquely yours and need expression, rather than what you believe you are supposed to be and do." While everyone would like to embrace and live from their authentic soul, doing so isn't always easy. Why? Think of it like this: We all have times in our lives when we come to a fork in the road. On the "easy" path, sometimes you can lie, steal, or cheat to get to the other side, knowing you could get away with it. On the more challenging path, you do the hard work to reach the goal. Your impostors will say all kinds of things to get you to take the easy path. The Inner Child impostor will say, "I don't wanna do the hard work. Don't make me!" The Inner Narcissist impostor might rationalize it by saying, "I already know that I could do the hard work, so I don't need to prove myself to anyone. I've earned this break!" The reasons and excuses from each of the eight impostors are loud, compelling, and virtually endless. No wonder they drown out the authentic soul so easily. But when you have the strength and integrity to do the work and take the hard path, that's when you'll be living from your authentic soul. Let Your Authentic Soul Take Center Stage Many people wonder how they can unleash their authentic soul, especially after years of teachers, bosses, friends, family, and even strangers telling us how they want or expect us to act. One way to get in touch with this aspect of yourself is to do one thing every day that puts you in touch with your soul. What do you truly enjoy doing? What makes your soul feel happy and content? Unfortunately, many people are unable to answer those questions. They've been out of touch with themselves for so long that they honestly can't remember what they enjoy doing or what makes them feel at peace. But as Mike Robbins reminds us, "The first essential aspect of our journey to live a more authentic, meaningful, and fulfilling life is to know who we truly are at the deepest level." In order to know yourself at this deep level, you need to spend some time in quiet contemplation. Listen to the little voice in the back of your mind and be aware of the feelings you're experiencing. Think about your likes and dislikes in general. Do you crave adventure? Is quiet solitude what you really yearn for? Are you a physical person? Or does intellect stimulate you more? Whatever you gravitate toward, find an activity that satisfies that need, whether it's journaling, hiking, bicycling, or just watching the waves hit the beach. Discover what stirs your soul and do one thing each day that enhances that feeling. This is an important practice, because as Gary Zukav says: When the deepest part of you becomes engaged in what you are doing, when your activities and actions become gratifying and purposeful, when what you do serves both yourself and others, when you do not tire within but seek the sweet satisfaction of your life and your work, you are doing what you were meant to be doing. In other words, you are living from your authentic soul. Embrace the Real, Authentic You Rest assured that no matter how loud your impostors are clamoring for your attention or for how long they've derailed your efforts, your authentic soul is always there, ready to help you get in touch with joy, make meaningful connections with others, and recognize your inherent worth. Getting in touch with your authentic soul takes work, time, and continued diligence, but when you put forth the effort you'll begin to trust in yourself and have the confidence to make the right decision even at the risk of criticism and rejection. No one is perfect, and your authentic soul is there to remind you that failing doesn't make you a failure. Your authentic soul helps create openness and honesty with others, paving the way for intimacy and closer relationships. When you trust in your authentic soul to guide you, your words, and your actions, you will have the ability to live a richer and more productive life.

Huffington Post

11/16/2012 3:09:05 PM

BIL Conference, Long Beach, CA
Most of you have heard of TED or watched the talks online, but do you know about BIL, the quirky, populist, unconference taking place nearby? Open to the public and fully participant powered, BIL features a wild mix of technologists, scientists, artists, hackers, and those with a passion for community awareness I am one of the speakers who presented at the March, 2013 event in Long Beach, CA

BIL Conference

3/21/2013 4:41:05 PM

Internet Wealth DNA, Singapore
I will be presenting at Chris Howard’s Internet Wealth DNA event in Singpore on Saturday 23rd & Sunday 24th March alongside 7 other leading wealth and marketing experts. During the event, some of the topics covered will be: - My secrets to communicating better online - Teaching how your Impostors are robbing you of happiness, success and freedom - The absolute easiest way to “get started” on the Internet - The secret “Mindset” you must have to acquire the power to make millions of dollars, on the Internet or anywhere else. This is the one truth you’ll never hear about from the “gurus”. - What “certain type” of words in your ads and headlines can get you clicked on over all your competitors. (Your competitors won’t understand what happened and won’t be able to figure it out either.) - The incredible story that reveals the one true secret to all powerful marketing. Learn this one truth and never worry about money again - How to leverage social media to build strong relationships and develop a worldwide community of students and customers - And much much more….

Internet Wealth DNA

3/21/2013 4:40:53 PM

Soul Blazing Workshop - Bali
I am running a 3-day workshop on the magical, tropical island of Bali at the end of March where I will be coaching top CEOs and Business on how to communicate their way to a Healthier, Wealthier, and Wiser life. I will share my communication insights from around the world and teach the participants how to communicate using the basic Soul Blazing principals.

3/21/2013 4:47:46 PM

Online Shindig Event: Soul Blazing – Communication Skills That Will Transform Your Life
“Soul Blazing Secrets” jolts listeners from their slumber and energizes them to face their”Impostors” and re-awakens them to living their lives through better communication. We will teach you how to identify the 8 “Impostors” that live inside us and keep us from living and working from our “Authentic Soul”, the truest and strongest version of ourselves. The “Impostors” include: your Inner Narcissist, Over-Thinker, Philosopher, Sex God/Goddess, Clown, Wounded Inner Child, Counselor, and Fixer. Once a person masters the art of taming their “Impostors”, they become free to achieve greater clarity, productivity, inner peace and better communication.

3/21/2013 5:09:06 PM

When Smart and Social Don’t Mix in a Relationship
We’ve all heard the phrase “opposites attract.” But what happens when that happy union of opposites starts to rub you the wrong way? At my Soul Blazing Sanctuary, I often work with couples where one person is very intellectual and not interested in social activities, while the other person is quite the opposite—very social and not considered intellectually gifted. Sometimes the differences don’t matter and the couple manages to make it work. But more often than not, these specific opposite tendencies create stress, frustration, and feelings of inadequacy in at least one of the partners. For example, Bill and Patricia (not their real names) recently came to me for help. Bill likes to go out with his friends who are intellectually his equal. He says that his wife is more of a “simple” person who can’t talk at his level and engage in intellectually stimulating conversation. While Patricia is indeed smart, she prefers reading about fashion, food, and the latest celebrity gossip instead of the philosophy books Bill reads. Whenever Bill mentions his friends, he often throws in phrases like, “You couldn’t possibly understand our conversations.” That’s when her buttons get pushed. His words and actions make her feel that she’s not good enough. Instinctively, she retaliates by saying derogatory things to him, which causes him to leave and go out with his intellectually-gifted friends. The next day they make up, and a few days later the cycle repeats. Fortunately, for couples like Bill and Patricia, it doesn’t have to be this way. You can blend smart and social and make the relationship work. Here’s how. • Aim for acceptance, not dominance. First, realize that it’s not about determining which personality tendency is “better” than the other, and then forcing the other person to change. Neither tendency “wins” in life. Being intellectual has advantages, as does being socially-oriented. Rather, it’s about accepting each other for who the person is, because you each are unique individuals. Remember, no matter how hard you try, you can’t change another person. • Know yourself. If the differences between you and your partner are straining your relationship, get clear on what you can do to calm yourself. When the other person “pushes your buttons,” how can you temper your reactions? I’m not suggesting you hide or ignore your feelings. Rather, I’m suggesting that you know what steps you can consciously choose to take to not let the other person’s words or actions set you off. Does going out for a walk help? Journaling? Doing yoga? Figure out what helps you feel at ease so you don’t erupt every time your partner irritates you. • Focus on the positive. Get in touch with your strengths and what you offer to the relationship. If you’re not sure, ask your partner to tell you what they love about you…what attracted them to you…what they find desirable in you. Then, do the same for your partner. What strengths does he or she have that you like? Put your focus on these areas of your relationship—on the strengths—rather than on the differences. • Like yourself. Usually, when you start picking on others and focusing on their flaws and differences, it’s because you’re not happy with yourself. When you don’t feel secure with who you are, it’s easy to emotionally bully others by putting them down or fighting with them. So after creating your list of positive qualities, re-read them and think of examples in your life where you’ve exemplified the positive traits. Embrace the positive feelings that come with those memories so you can “fall in love” with yourself and all you have to offer to the relationship. • Gain understanding about what your partner likes. Even if you don’t like something, you can still appreciate it. For example, suppose your intellectual partner loves to go to the ballet or the opera. You may find these outings boring. To make it more interesting, learn about the origins of a certain opera or ballet you’ll be attending. Also, read a few books about well known ballerinas or opera singers. The struggles and sacrifices these people made for their art may move you. At the very least, you’ll gain an appreciation for what your partner enjoys, which will make attending the show with him or her more enjoyable. Likewise, if you hate socializing at mainstream events, find one thing your partner likes to do (perhaps cooking) and take a class together that focuses on the activity. Meet the other people in the class and learn about what got them involved in the activity and what they love about it. Since most classes are small, this is a good place to start “breaking the ice” with regular people who share an interest that your partner has. For both of these scenarios, remember that you’re doing it for the relationship, so go in with an open mind. After some time, you may even develop a new interest in the topic or activity and realize that the two of you have more in common than you initially thought. Happily Ever After Ultimately, you chose your partner for a reason. You have a soul level connection that can transcend any differences. Hold strong to that fact and you’ll soon find that smarts and social can indeed go hand-in-hand in any relationship.

4/8/2013 9:29:19 AM

Love Vs. Anger
“It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.” – Wayne Dyer Lately, my cross-cultural married clients have been struggling with compatibility issues and tempers have been flying. So, I’ve been reading a lot about how people struggle with anger issues. More often the anger people are feeling is towards people they deeply love – we’ve all been guilty of it haven’t we? Through my research, I found this parable, and I love the explanation of the reason why people shout in anger, see what you think… A Hindu saint was visiting the River Ganges to take a bath and found a group of family members on the riverbank, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples, smiled and asked, “Why do people shout at each other when they are angry?” The disciples thought for a while, then one of them said, “Because when we lose our calm, we shout.” But, why would you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can just as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner,’ asked the saint. The disciples gave some other answers but none of them were satisfactory to the rest of the group. Finally the saint explained; “When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to cover that great distance. What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small.” The saint continued, “When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak; only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally, they need not even whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all they need to do. That is how close two people are when they love each other.” He looked at his disciples and said, “So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant. Do not say words that distance each other more, or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.” A good way to release anger is deep breaths, counting to 10… slowly and writing about it in a journal. Write down everything that is upsetting you and most importantly why. Of course we know when we’re angry but do we really know why – more often it is because a need you have is not being met, find that need and you can resolve your anger. You can also explain it to the person you were angry with so they know what your need is and hopefully can fulfill it in the future. It can be as easy as needing to feel connected with a simple text between you and your partner. Also, when you know who your dominant “Impostor” is, your communication is cleaner and honest and you will not get yourself into situations where anger is sparked frequently.

www.anniejenningspr.com/jenningswire

5/3/2013 2:35:46 PM

Soul Blazing Workshop - NY
SPARK: The 3-Day Rapid Growth Program to a Better, Brighter, More Balanced You Fri. January 27-29, 2013 Mid-Manhattan, NY Friday (Registration 4PM – 5.30PM, Event starts 5:30PM-9PM) - Saturday, Sunday (10.30AM-7PM) Lisa’s 3-Day Soul Blazing Workshop, “Spark,” introduces you to your “Impostors” and gets you all acquainted. You will learn how to identify your “Impostors”, discover where they originate from, create Authentic Soul affirmations, set clear goals for the future to spark your Soul Blazing journey. During this workshop, you will learn… The Secret to Discovering Your Authentic Soul How to Identify and Control Your “Inner Impostors” Improv Games that Evoke Your Child-like Freedom and Produce Powerful Results Turn Your Negative Self Talk Into Masterful Affirmations The Soul Blazing System for Setting and Achieving Clear Goals Mind, Body, Spirit Work

1/31/2013 12:32:30 PM

A Glimpse into the Real Cairo
I’ve had the opportunity to visit Cairo, Egypt twice: once in 2008 and again in October 2010. During my most recent trip, I didn’t sense the impending riots we are witnessing today; however, I did wonder why the Egyptian people weren’t organizing a revolution, much like the Americans did in 1775. When people ask me today, “Aren’t you glad you got out of Cairo before all the rioting began?” I reply, “No. The Egyptian people were always friendly and welcoming. Most of them went out of their way to help me, and I always felt safe. Cairo is one my most favorite cities in the world.” As the people of Cairo often said to me, “We love tourists. We welcome everybody.” I noticed how the religious and ethnic groups lived so peacefully together compared to other Middle Eastern cities that I’ve visited. They are tolerant people. Looking back, maybe they are a bit too tolerant, especially of injustices done to them. An Eye-Opening Experience My first visit to Cairo in 2008 gave me a great perspective into the lives of Egyptians. I was staying at a four-star hotel that had a business center. Invariably, whatever I asked to get done did not get done. My room was dirty and had a pervasive musty smell. The showers had corroded tiles and poor water flow. When I would ask for towels, for someone to fix my non-working phone, or for anything else, I was always told, “Sure, we’ll be right there.” Half the time no one showed, and the other half of the time, the issue wasn’t solved. Frustrated, I finally went to the reception desk and gently and politely asked what was going on—why can’t these basic needs be resolved? The man behind the desk replied, “They are doing their best. Please be patient.” After inquiring as to whether the documents I left them had been faxed (a request I made two days earlier,) I was told, “Not yet. Sorry. We’re still having a problem with our fax machine.” While I wanted to get angry, I did not. Instead, I stopped and took a good look around. I immediately noticed how tired the man at the front desk looked. I learned that his name was Sameh. I asked him to please to explain to me what the issues were in this hotel and with other businesses. He said life was tough challenging but we don’t want sympathy. “I get two hours a night sleep if I’m lucky. I work nearly 20 hours a day. I work in this office for nine hours and then at a body shop for eight hours. I sleep in my car, return here to the hotel, and take a quick shower in one of the available rooms.” I then asked him why he was working so much. He said that he needed the money. “How long will you have to keep up this schedule?” I asked. He replied, “If I want a family, my whole life.” Then I gently asked how much he earned, he said, “$20 per month.” My jaw dropped. Granted, $20 buys a lot more in Egypt than it does in the states, but still, it’s a measly wage. At the most, he could afford only the most basic of necessities: an old, small, musty home with several family members pitching in to help with the mortgage; meager food; some clean drinking water; a few clothing items; and nothing more. He certainly couldn’t afford a wife or family. At that moment, I no longer cared if the sheets in my room were changed, if the room smelled, if my phone worked, or if the shower was functioning properly. I simply wanted to help my new friend see a future for himself. Taking an Emotional Toll The riots in Egypt today stem from legal and political issues, including police brutality, state of emergency laws, lack of free elections and free speech, and corruption, as well as economic issues such as high unemployment, food price inflation, and low minimum wages. The people want a new government that represents the interests of the Egyptian people. Is that really too much to ask? From my experiences, the Egyptians are a group of smart, talented, and proud people who simply want a better life for themselves, I recall walking around Cairo with my camera and taking photos of everything including the poverty and the homeless. Each time I would take a photo of something negative to them, the people would say to me, “That’s an ugly picture. Please don't take photos of our negative side. That’s not who we are and not how we want the world to see us. We want others to see us at our best.”

www.mylalifestyle.com

5/3/2013 2:38:19 PM

Women of Global Change Costa Rica Adventure
The Women of Global Change come together in business, power and spirit as we better ourselves, our communities and the world. Our Missions: We stand as a global presence of hope and positive progress for women and for future generations. I'm one of 8 speakers traveling to Costa Rica to inspire hundreds to help make the world a better place.

1/31/2013 12:28:37 PM

Soul Blazing Workshop - Los Angeles
SPARK: The 3-Day Rapid Growth Program to a Better, Brighter, More Balanced You Fri. March 8th – Sun. March 10th, 2013 Los Angeles, CA Friday (Registration 4PM – 5.30PM, Event starts 5:30PM-9PM) - Saturday, Sunday (10.30AM-7PM) Lisa’s 3-Day Soul Blazing Workshop, “Spark,” introduces you to your “Impostors” and gets you all acquainted. You will learn how to identify your “Impostors”, discover where they originate from, create Authentic Soul affirmations, set clear goals for the future to spark your Soul Blazing journey. During this workshop, you will learn… The Secret to Discovering Your Authentic Soul How to Identify and Control Your “Inner Impostors” Improv Games that Evoke Your Child-like Freedom and Produce Powerful Results Turn Your Negative Self Talk Into Masterful Affirmations The Soul Blazing System for Setting and Achieving Clear Goals Mind, Body, Spirit Work

1/31/2013 12:30:39 PM